Today myself, my 3 sisters and a good friend competed in and finished the Annapolis half marathon. While this is the third half I have competed in and not the fastest one I've ever done, I finished. And 8 months out from being diagnosed with cancer it makes this one the most special. So, dear cancer, take that!
Saturday, May 23, 2009
So we are home after a great week at the beach. And its amazing, the smaller the mileage between me and home got, the greater my anxiety. This really has to stop. So, first thing Tuesday (blasted federal holidays!!!) it is on the phone to find some help. There is no need to feel sick to my stomach on a regular basis. I don't understand how people who have chronic anxiety cope, they are my new heroes. I find this temporary (hopefully) condition that I seem to have acquired is absolutely crippling. You become totally obsessed with things that you cannot change and have no control over. Again, this must stop. Hopefully a night in my own bed in my own house will help, but unfortunately I have my doubts. This weirdness seems to know no boundaries and respect nothing. In a nutshell, it sucks.
On a happier note, I am sitting on my own couch in my own house watching my own TV, which is always nice after a week away. I am looking forward to a shower in my own bathroom and sleeping in my own bed. Tomorrow is another day, and I really am thankful to have tomorrow even with the current issues associated. While I had the "good" cancer (if one more person says that to me, I will punch them) there are still mortality rates associated and I have still been given a likelihood of living for another 15 years. If that is "good" than fine, but no one said I had to like it or move on like it never happened.
Okay, happy notes. And I'm off to bed.
Thursday, May 21, 2009
If you have ever tried to lose weight, or have felt that you have struggled with your weight, do I have the book for you. I laughed out loud at the honest look in to a woman's battle with her weight that this author provided. A sampling for your reading pleasure, "A month ago I was fat and happy. But ever since I made the decision to drop a few pounds - way less easy than it sounds, by the way - I've become obsessed with my size, and in so doing I've inadvertently allowed my inner critic to have a voice. And you know what? She's a bitch. Like now when I see my underpants in the laundry, I no longer think Soft! Cotton! Sensible! Instead I hear her say Damn, girl, these panties be huge." Courtesy of Jen Lancaster, author of "Such a Pretty Fat." I highly suggest it if you need a memoir that will make you laugh out loud. (http://www.amazon.com/Such-Pretty-Fat-Narcissists-Discover/dp/0451223896/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1242951570&sr=1-1)
Another thing that occurred to me today as I bathed in the (FINALLY) sunny weather of North Carolina? Technology is the reason that an ever increasing number of people require therapy and medication to function (read the book, you'll understand why I was thinking about this.) We are so tapped in to everything that is happening in the world at every nano-second, that we are forgetting how to disengage and just relax. Now I am definitely at fault in my appreciation of the technology revolution. I have an i-Pod, I have a blackberry, I DVR things. And I am not willing to give up any of those things. But my question is when did a cell phone become obsolete because it doesn't download your email and have the capacity to give you directions to the nearest Starbucks? Given my decision to not give up any of the above, how do I find a middle ground? Where I feel tapped in, but not so anxiety ridden that I can't sleep? Is the answer really medication? The last thing I really want to do is add more medicine into my daily routine, but I also don't want to feel like I'm going to throw-up for good portions of a day. First stop therapy, second stop, I don't know. We will cross that bridge when we get there.
On a lighter, happier note, today is my four year wedding anniversary. Reflecting on the last four years, its been pretty good (with the obvious exception of the last 12 calendar months.) I have a great husband, and overall, things have been pretty good. So, Ham-Hock, I love you. Happy Anniversary.
Wednesday, May 20, 2009
Can I get a hell yeah. You still get your socks (and anything else you happen to be wearing) blown off at the beach, but our deck is perfect. Things are looking up. What else is looking up? The prospect of a fantastic weekend with old friends at a lake. Very excited C-diddy!!!! :-)
We have reached day 5 at the beach, and while it is now sunny, it is COLD! Mr. Weatherman has promised that tomorrow and Friday are going to be great, but really, 2/7 is not a good success rate. I think we are going to bundle up (with bathing suits underneath, for a splash of optimism) and go sit on the beach anyway. That is why we came, and that is what we shall do.
Monday, May 18, 2009
This is my first ever blog post. I have friends who are routine bloggers and I thought to myself, what the hell, we'll give it a shot. So here, dear friends, I will attempt to keep some what of a continuing narrative about what is happening in my life.
For instance today. I am on my first vacation since being diagnosed with papillaric thyroid cancer in October 2008. I have had surgery, I have been radiated with toxic levels of iodine, and I have been poked and prodded like you wouldn't believe. So, needless to say, I was looking forwards to this vacation....and it has been raining for 2 days. The forecast is looking up, and so will I. For now, we will be thankful that I am in a position to be on vacation and remember that while things have been pretty crappy, they could have been worse.